How Old Are They?

Every year, a theme park in my state hosts a Deaf Awareness Day and the entire park is accessible via interpreters. I did this job for years because it's a fun gig and very social. The last time I did it was in 2002 because the following year, I was newly pregnant with Hannah, Ryan and Abby and although there were no complications at the time, I didn't think it was a good idea to be in the heat and on my feet, even for part of the day.

When the coordinator called me this year to see if I was interested in interpreting again, I said yes right away. I was excited because it would be nice to have a day with people who know me not as a Mom, but as a professional.

An hour before the park opened, we (the interpreters) started "working". We had a 15 minute informal meeting with the Interpreter Coordinators to discuss the logistics for the day, then we had 45 minutes to socialize, have coffee and breakfast. It was wonderful for me: there were plenty of hugs, a few tears and a lot of laughs as I caught up with some old friends. But, before I knew it, the doors were getting ready to open and we all scattered to our assigned locations. The day flew by and working again was exhausting and exilerating for me at the same time.

Just as my day was winding down, a Deaf woman I worked with for many years but hadn't seen in a long time approached me and gave me a huge hug. She commented that it had been years since we'd seen each other but that she's thought of me often and wondered how I was doing. With a huge smile she signed, "I'm so impressed you're here with how busy you must be. How old are the triplets now?"

At that given moment, I would have done just about anything to be somewhere else. It wasn't that she mentioned Hannah, Ryan and Abby, or even that she didn't know they died. It was that she was so excited to see me and she was so happy for me and now I had to tell her what happened.

"Oh, I guess you never heard that unfortunately, they were born prematurely and all three of them died shortly after their births" and then, without missing a beat, I went into what I call "making them feel better mode" I rushed over the fact that they died and moved right into my current life: "it was very difficult but the greatest gifts they have given me are my 3 year old son, Joey and my 1 year old, Laura, who are the light of my life...and you, how are you doing?"

I did everything I could to make it easier for both of us, but it was clearly uncomfortable and it made me realize why I never went back to full time work after they died. Had I been able to walk into an office and see everyone the first week I was back, I may have done it. But as a freelance interpreter, I worked with so many different people every day that even now, 5 years later, people remember that I was pregnant with triplets but don't know that they died.

And still, almost 5 years later, running into people who ask such an innocent question with such excitement can still knock the wind out of my sails...