I'm A Big Boy Now!

Joey turned 3 last week. How much he understands the concept that this day was his actual birth-day is unclear but he certainly understands that he is no longer 2 and that he is now 3.

"Three means I'm a big boy now, Mom" he continues to tell me. He even declared "Now that I'm three, I can go on the potty." This has been his first expression of interest in potty training, and although he has only wanted to sit on the potty once since then, it's a start.

He also gave me a "list" of things he can do now that he is three and a big boy: he can walk down the stairs by himself (a skill he has had since he was under 2 but Laura's arrival brought back a strong desire in him to be carried), cut his own food with a (plastic) knife, and help me with all kinds of projects, especially those that involved flat or phillips head screw-drivers and scissors, pour his own cereal, crack an egg and push the buttons on the microwave to cook his food.

He is growing up. The thought of him being a "big boy" sometimes brings a huge smile to my face but it also sometimes brings me a little fear and sadness. Fear because I want to keep him safe and close and protected from the harsh realities of life, even though I know that's impossible. Sadness because the older he becomes, the more independent he will become. I try to foster independence because I know it's a good thing, but it's also difficult to let go. I'm sure as the years go by, this will be more and more important yet more and more difficult to do.

The night of his birthday, I read him some new stories and tucked him in. R was working late, so I sat down and started reading my book. A little while later, Joey started crying so I went into his room and stroked his hair and asked him what was the matter.

In a small, scared voice he said, "I had a bad dream, Mom."

I asked him if he wanted me to sit down, hold his hand and sing him a song and he immediately said yes, put his tiny hand in mine and closed his eyes again.

As I was gently singing to him, my eyes filled with tears. Yes, he is becoming a big boy now, but he is also still so young and in the most tender way, he is still very much a baby.