Babies. I love them. My own baby is really a toddler now and soon she'll leave that and become a little girl. Although she is still a baby, she is no longer a infant-baby.
Our lives are no longer run by nap schedules or thrown of kilter by our own sleep deprivation. We are doing things now: Rod and I have date nights, I have spent time with girlfriends of my own and as a family, we're able to go places and, well, do things. This summer has just started and already it's been so much fun for us. I'm happy with my stage in life. I truly am.
However, whenever I hear of another friend who is pregnant again, I feel a longing-a pull-for another baby of my own. I know that when my sister in law has her #3 (he is due at the end of August) I will hold him in my arms and the love will be only slightly stronger than the longing. Yet, I know I will never have another baby-it's too difficult for us on so many levels and even if I really, really wanted to go through it all again, I know that R is done. His heart isn't in it anymore and he's ready to live life. When we are trying or I am pregnant, we don't live life, we survive it. We did that for too long and neither of us want to go back to that stress again.
And I'm okay with it. I really am.
Except sometimes...
Monday, June 29, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
So Long Ago...
Yesterday, I was in picking up my new contact lenses. I am friendly with the owner and we were chatting as I was looking at the new glasses styles~they are so fun now-pretty colors and funky shapes. Not anything like the tortoise shell frames I have.
I was having fun trying all the styles on and found a great bright pink pair that I love. I asked her to look in my chart and tell me if my prescription has changed since the last time I purchased glasses. It hasn't.
"Drag" I said, "my old glasses are so boring but I can't justify purchasing new ones right now , especially since I rarely wear them"
She surprised me by saying, "you bought your last pair of glasses in Winter '04. You were in such a different place, emotionally, that you didn't even look at anything fun or funky. You just wanted to get a pair of glasses and go home. You really have come a long way"
It seems like such a long time ago-it was such a different life. I was such a different person.
I was having fun trying all the styles on and found a great bright pink pair that I love. I asked her to look in my chart and tell me if my prescription has changed since the last time I purchased glasses. It hasn't.
"Drag" I said, "my old glasses are so boring but I can't justify purchasing new ones right now , especially since I rarely wear them"
She surprised me by saying, "you bought your last pair of glasses in Winter '04. You were in such a different place, emotionally, that you didn't even look at anything fun or funky. You just wanted to get a pair of glasses and go home. You really have come a long way"
It seems like such a long time ago-it was such a different life. I was such a different person.
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