Getting A Taste of the Teen Years...

My sister is in the middle of a very long, drawn out and nasty divorce from a man who is controlling and verbally abusive. I admire her for making the very difficult decision to leave him and since she filed (over 2 years ago) I've watched her transform from an empty shell of a woman under his control into the confident, fun loving and happy person that I know is my sister.

Am has 4 children-girl, boy, girl, boy. My oldest niece is 13 years old and on top of the normal angst that comes from the early teen years, she is angry with her parents and she is confused about where to put her trust. My sister has tried to talk to her about puberty, sex, drugs, alcohol and smoking, but hasn't felt like she's made any progress so asked me if I would give it a shot...

Um. Yeah. Sure. Okay. Me? Really?

So, this past week, Chloe and I went for a walk. Big Breath. Another Big Breath. And before I knew it, I was into my first ever "parent-child" heavy duty conversation. I wanted to see if I could gauge how much my niece actually knows about the topic of sex, so I asked her questions, which she answered much more candidly than I expected. We talked about menstruation, shaving, pregnancy and sex. We talked about respecting your own body and about what to do if someone does something, anything, that makes you feel uncomfortable. We talked about appropriate and inappropriate behavior and we talked about dating.

She asked questions, I gave answers. I asked questions, she gave answers. It was an actual conversation. A back and forth exchange. I ended it by telling her the reason I wanted to talk to her was because I know she is struggling with her relationship with her folks and might not feel comfortable talking to them right now. I told her I love her and I know this is a difficult time in her life. I want her to know that she can come talk to me if she has questions, concerns, things she doesn't understand or know how to deal with. When the conversation was over, she hugged me and said "Thank you, Aunt April"

And then it was over. She bounced away as if we had just been talking about something as mundane as the weather. I strolled back into the house thinking about our talk and wondering how much of it she will mull over, later. Overall, I think it was a good experience for both of us and I'm glad I was able to talk to her. However, I am thankful that I have many years before I need to face this discussion with my own children. When that time comes, maybe, just maybe, my niece will be old enough to do it for me...(just kidding~kind of).

I Miss The Crib!!

Yesterday was day 2 of the big boy bed.

I put Joey down for nap/quiet time (he's transitioning out of the nap but still needs down time/quiet time) and I heard him chatting away for a while then it got quiet, so I went downstairs to straighten up and have some of my own quiet time.

Later, I went back upstairs and heard him chatting again so I decided to get him "up". I opened the door and there he was, sitting on his bed, blissfully playing-his entire room was covered in tissues/tissue bits he had ripped up. Upon hearing the door open, he looked at me and said, with utter joy, "Look Mom, I made a tissue world"

I want the crib back.