IPF

I haven't posted in a long time because I haven't been able to bring myself to write about all that is on my mind. It's too scary. Too sad. Too much for me.

My Mom is a wonderful woman. If I am half the Mom she is, I will consider myself successful in my parenting. She was an excellent role model for me growing up and she has been an excellent Granny to all of my children. She never forgets Hannah, Ryan and Abby's birthdays and always remembers them with me by bringing me 3 roses (2 pink and one yellow). Joey and Laura both adore her~and why shouldn't they? She gets children. She has infinite amounts of patience with them, enjoys them and spends enormous amounts of time with them.

But, my Mom is sick. Very sick. And if she has the illness that they believe she has, she will not recover. She is home from the hospital (she spent 14 days there, 12 of which were in ICU, with severe Pneumonia) but she is on a lot of supplemental oxygen and she really can't do anything without it, except sit and talk. With it, her mobility is extremely limited. However, worse than her current state is the "prognosis" for the disease she has. It is progressive, and the progression is often rapid. The mean life span from diagnosis is 2 years.

I cannot wrap my brain around this situation. On December 2, my folks joined us for breakfast with Santa at our local camp and my Mom was running after Laura, laughing and having so much fun. On December 12, she was whipping around the tennis court with her doubles partner and won an exceedingly challenging but enjoyable match. On December 22, she was in ICU. How does that happen? Why has this happened?

Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis.

My heart cannot handle this.