Time...

My kids are growing up. The safety bumpers have long since been removed from our coffee table and the safety locks on the cabinets are gone. Legos and other small toys decorate our floors on a daily basis and it's suffice to say that our house is no longer baby-proof. As difficult as it is to admit, Laura is a full fledged child. At nearly 3, she hasn't napped in months, prefers riding her bike to watching Baby Einsteins and has enough attitude to rival any tween.

This stage is so much fun. Both kids are playing (non-competitive) wiffle ball. Rod and I take them to the driving range and tennis courts, they love the beach and enjoy boogie boarding and this year, they helped wash and wax the boat (they spent most of the time taking turns playing "Captain" and "First Mate" but they were out there with us). They are creative and able to do "things" yet they are still totally innocent. It's such a great time of life.

Every once in a while, my arms ache to hold a baby in my arms, to feel the suckle of their thirst, to inhale the newborn smell through my nostrils. I used to think this longing stemmed from losing Hannah, Ryan and Abby and I'm sure part of it is. But I think part of it is also because I realize that life is accelerating at a rate that's unfathomable. Sometimes when I'm shopping, I walk right past the Size 5 pants because when I glance at them, I assume they are way to big to fit my son and yet that is the size he wears.

As a teen, I would to get annoyed when my folks would tell me that they can't believe how fast life happens. I couldn't wait to drive, or graduate high school or turn 21. And while I would never go back to these days, it's a bit shocking to realize that at 41, I'm now closer to being 60 than I was to being 20. And it's almost impossible to believe that 5 years ago tomorrow was the day that my son safely entered my world. While I was pregnant, it went so slowly. Now that they are here, it's going too fast...