Redshirting...

"Redshirting" was once used to describe college athletes who are kept from play for a year, so that they can still put in 4 years, but at an older, more refined and developed age. Now the term is often being used to describe kids who enter kindergarten a year late with the hopes that being the oldest will give them the academic and athletic advantage.

It's a hot topic.

And it's one I'm currently considering.Joey is a May baby and our kindergarten cut-off date is October first. He would probably be one of, if not the oldest, child in his class growing up. The thought of that scares me and yet I am still thinking of holding him from kindergarten next year.

But it's not to give him an academic or athletic advantage as he grows. See, for me, I am 100% sure that holding my son now is the right thing to do for him, now. The T-K program we are looking at will have between 10 and 12 children, all who will be 5 years old when they start and 6 years old when they finish. The program focuses on many of the skills that he would be learning in Kindergarten, but extra emphasis is given to social and emotional confidence and growth. Academically and athletically (if there is such a thing for a 4 1/2 year old) he's ready. It's the "social" and "emotional" where he needs a little more time. He's come a long way but he's just not there yet. This T-K program is the perfect stepping stone for my son and I know it would do wonders for him.

His pediatrician believes that he's a child that could go either way. His exact words were, "Knowing Joey as I do, if he were born in July, I would tell you to hold him. But May is on the far end" But that only makes me wonder more if T-K is the place for him. His preschool teachers have said, "He would benefit from an extra year but he would probably be okay if you sent him" Do I want to gamble with "probably" when I know he would benefit from one more year?

Sounds like a no-brainer, right? Except it's not. It's not the now that I worry about, it's the later. What happens when he is turning 8 in first grade, 12 in 5th grade? 17 (the age in which NJ children are eligible to test for their driver's license) at the end of his sophomore year? Will he feel differently because he is older? Will he feel like an outcast? Will he be bored academically?

So, do I hold him because I believe it's best for my son "now" but then worry about the "later" potential long term consequences? Or do I send him now so he's not the oldest child in the class and worry about the consequences of this decision on his current social confidence?

In life, there is no crystal ball. And so, I'll continue to weigh the pros and cons of both options, then make my decision. Hopefully, in 20 years from now, I will look back on this angst with a smile, knowing I made the right decision.